So today I decided to lay down on the couch for my normal Sunday afternoon nap. Kayleigh was chatting on Facebook, while I decided to nap. It was going great until I had this dream… So here I am walking down this street, only there are no cars, just me a “friend” walking together that I have know idea who it was. Apparently we are walking to another friends house. We get there and it is a someone that I have never seen before, but in my dream was so close to me. He was small like a child though.
The my friend that we went to visit looks up at me and says, “Barry can you take me to Jesus?”, I feel that it is important to inform you that this friend of mine is paralyzed from the neck down. I’m not exactly sure why but he has no wheelchair, or anything. So I say to him of course I will take you to Jesus. I pick him up and hold him tightly close to my chest. He then looks at me and says “Thank You!” It is about this point that I fall to my knees, out of exhaustion, for some reason I cannot go on… I have this helpless child in my arms, who desperately wants to see Jesus, and I cannot do it. I start to apologize to him, and then begin to weep!
And at about that point, Kayleigh wakes me up, and tears are rolling down my face for real. She asked me what happened? and whats wrong? The only words I could get out, where I was not strong enough, all he wanted to do was see Jesus. After about 5 min of getting my composure back, I was then able to describe the dream to her more clearly. It was very eye opening, and for some reason while I was carrying him, I felt so selfish, and guilty, for being as blessed as I am.
I do not know what any of this means, but God defiantly used it to humble me a little bit today.
So Kayleigh has kind of got me hooked on a band. They are not new, but have just recently gotten really popular. She told me to just listen to the lyrics and think about what they say. So of course I did! She has already blogged about them but the name of the band is Flyleaf. The are a group that are not ashamed to say that their Christians, in fact their song “All Around Me” is about God, and when they did a local mini concert for a radio station, told the DJ’s that they were Christians and that the song was all about God.
I have so much respect for them! Because they could have sold out and left out the God part, especially with how well their song is doing without people knowing it. But that song is really just the beginning of the amazing music they produce. *by the way you can purchase their CD which has like 22 songs on it, half of them being acoustic versions, plus I think like 6 music videos for only $7.99 on iTunes*
But anyways about the “Something to Think About”… They have a song on their CD titled “Cassie” the song is a tribute to Cassie Bernall, who was tragically killed at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 after telling the gun man that “Yes she believed in God! The quote that stands out to me in the acoustic version of the song states:
- Don’t be shocked that people die, be surprised your still alive -
To be honest, when I heard this quote it bewildered me a bit. I thought why not be shocked that people die? I mean, it’s defiantly not something I expect to hear . Then I stopped for a second and thought about the second part of the verse… It automatically took me to James 4:14-“Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.” NASB
We are never promised tomorrow, just today. It made me think about how I need to make the most of every opportunity, like Pastor Byron spoke about a few weeks ago. Not missing the ability to truly “See God”. Just thought I’d share my thoughts about it, but check it out for yourself.
Kayleigh my AMAZING girlfriend wrote a blog yesterday about a event taking place today all around the world. It’s a very simple task and yet it can raise the awareness level on a topic that is not regularly discussed. Today I wrote “Love Wins”on my arm in Greek. Today people all around the world will write the word love, or a saying about love on their arm, to help raise awareness. Check out these stats:
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescents and young adults from age 15-24.
The suicide rate among adolescents aged 15-19 was 8.2/100,000, or 1,621 deaths among 19,882,596 adolescents in this age group.
The suicide rate among young people aged 20-24 was 12.8/100,000, or 2,373 deaths among 18,484,615 people in this age group.
In 2005 (latest available data), there were 32,637 reported suicide deaths.
A person dies by suicide about every 16 minutes in the United States. An attempt is estimated to be made once every minute.
Estimates suggest that approximately 800,000 Americans attempt suicide per year.
Honestly the reason this is so important to me is because I could have been ONE of those numbers. When I was in 8Th grade my parents got a divorce, and I slowly slipped into depression. I was not a Christ follower at the time and looked for “love” anywhere I could find it. Drugs, Alcohol, Relationships, Cigarettes, Sports, and yet I still felt so empty… My dad was gone, I felt so Un-wanted, so betrayed. I remember lying in bed at night wondering what was wrong with me, why did I feel so empty inside? Then the thought hit me, I wonder if anyone would even miss me… I knew my father couldn’t he had already left and didn’t care anymore! So I fell asleep and woke up the next morning and had a “regular day”.
Went to school did my work, rode the bus home, and watched some TV. But I got home that day and TV seemed boring. All I could think about was that question, “would anyone even miss me?” So I made the decision that it was not worth it anymore, I did not want to hurt anymore! So I went into the kitchen and got a knife, but before I could do anything, I thought to myself, this is going to hurt! So I decided there would have to be another way. I went into my bedroom and tied my bed sheet to the top bunk of my bed and then tied it around my neck. I passed out for about 2 hours… I remember waking up and taking off running, only to be quickly pulled back do to the sheet around my neck. I quickly untied myself and fell to my knees and began to weep!
Why didn’t I die? I kept asking! Why didn’t it work? It was in that moment that I realized that there must be something more to life. That there had to be a reason that I woke up. Shortly after that my mother forced me to go to Youth Camp. Where I found the answer to all my questions… Jesus mended my heart that week and showed me what a true father’s love is like. One who will never leave or forsake me. One who LOVES me just the way I am. I know now that God was not done with me yet, and now I live for Him! Waiting to see what He will do next! There maybe someone in your life who is struggling with depression, or thoughts of suicide, or cutting themselves. Talk to them, seek out help, RESCUE IS POSSIBLE, and believe me 1 Cor. 13: 4-8 & 13 are SO TRUE! Remember Jesus died for ALL of mankind.
